圣经对约会和人际关系有什么看法？
While the Bible does not speak directly about “dating” as we know it today, it provides timeless wisdom to guide our relationships. At its core, Scripture calls us to love God and love our neighbor as ourselves. This foundational teaching shapes how we approach romantic relationships.
The Bible emphasizes purity, self-control, and treating others with respect and honor. As St. Paul writes, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4). This teaches us that boundaries in dating are not meant to restrict love, but to protect and nurture it(Morrow, 2016).
In dating, we are called to see the other person as made in God’s image, worthy of dignity and respect. This means avoiding exploitation or treating someone as an object for our own gratification. Instead, we are to build each other up in faith and encourage one another’s spiritual growth.
The Bible also warns against becoming too emotionally or physically intimate before marriage. “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). This reminds us to be wise in how quickly we open ourselves to another, protecting our emotions and purity(Morrow, 2016).
Scripture provides examples of courtship, such as the story of Ruth and Boaz, which demonstrates patience, respect, and seeking God’s guidance in the process of finding a spouse. We see in the Song of Solomon a celebration of romantic love within the proper context.
Biblical principles for relationships emphasize selflessness, commitment, and putting God at the center. As Ephesians 5:21 instructs, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This mutual submission and respect forms the foundation for healthy Christian relationships(Winters, 2016).
《圣经》也教导我们要平等相处（哥林多前书6:14），鼓励信徒寻求分享信仰和价值观的伙伴。 这为这种关系奠定了坚实的精神基础。
As we navigate the journey of dating, let us remember that our primary relationship is with God. Jesus teaches us to “seek first his kingdom and his righteousness” (Matthew 6:33). When we prioritize our relationship with God, He guides us in all other relationships, including romantic ones.
虽然 The Bible may not provide a detailed “rulebook” for dating, it offers principles that, when applied with wisdom and prayer, can lead us to fulfilling, God-honoring relationships. Let us approach dating with intentionality, always seeking to honor God and treat others with love and respect. May your journey in relationships be marked by growth in faith, character, and love for God and others. As we navigate the complexities of relationships, it’s important to seek wise counsel and learn from the experiences of others. 基督徒约会建议 可以是一种宝贵的资源，为如何以一种符合我们的信仰和价值观的方式对待约会提供指导。 通过寻求值得信赖的导师的智慧，并愿意从他人的见解中学习，我们可以培养为上帝带来荣耀的关系。
我应该在潜在的基督徒伴侣身上寻找什么品质？
The search for a godly partner is a noble pursuit, one that requires discernment, patience, and above all, a deep reliance on God’s guidance. As you seek a potential Christian partner, remember that you are looking not just for a companion, but for someone with whom you can build a life of faith and service to God.
Look for someone whose heart is truly devoted to the Lord. This is the foundation upon which all other qualities rest. As the Scriptures tell us, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30). A genuine love for God will manifest itself in various aspects of their life – their character, their priorities, and their relationships with others(Cloud & Townsend, 2009).
Seek someone who demonstrates the fruits of the Spirit in their daily life: “love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23). These qualities are evidence of a life transformed by Christ and will contribute to a healthy, God-honoring relationship(Cloud & Townsend, 2009).
Look for a person who is committed to growing in their faith. This means they should be actively involved in a church community, regularly studying God’s Word, and seeking to apply biblical principles in their life. As iron sharpens iron, your relationship should be one where you encourage and challenge each other to grow closer to Christ(Cloud & Townsend, 2009).
考虑他们的品格和完整性。 他们是否在言论和行动上表现出诚实，可靠性和一致性？ 他们是信守承诺并对自己的错误负责的人吗？ 这些品质对于建立信任至关重要，并为潜在的未来奠定坚实的基础(Cloud & Townsend，2009)。
观察他们如何对待他人，特别是那些不能从中受益的人。 耶稣教导我们爱我们的邻居就像我们自己一样，一个真正跟随基督的人将表现出怜悯，仁慈和尊重所有人，无论他们的地位或他们能提供什么回报(Cloud & Townsend，2009)。
Look for someone who shares your values and vision for life. While you don’t need to agree on everything, having alignment on core issues such as faith, family, and life goals is important for long-term compatibility. Can you envision serving God together and supporting each other’s callings?(Cloud & Townsend, 2009)
注意他们如何处理冲突和困难。 一个成熟的基督徒将以恩典、谦卑和寻求和解的意愿迎接挑战。 公开沟通、宽恕和共同解决问题的能力对于健康的关系至关重要(Cloud & Townsend, 2009)。
考虑他们的情感和精神成熟。 他们是否具有自我意识并能够反思自己的成长领域？ 他们是否对自己的情绪和行为负责，而不是责怪他人？ 情感成熟的伴侣将有助于建立更稳定和充实的关系(Cloud & Townsend，2009)。
最后，找一个能激励你成为基督更好的追随者的人。 你們的關係應該相互激勵，鼓勵你們雙方在信仰中成長，更充分地活出你的呼召(Cloud & Townsend, 2009)。
As you search for a Christian partner, continue to work on your own spiritual growth and character. Pray for wisdom and guidance, and trust in God’s timing and plan for your life. May your pursuit of a godly relationship be a testament to Christ’s love and bring glory to His name.
和一个分享我信仰的人约会有多重要？
和一个分享你信仰的人约会的问题非常重要，触及你精神旅程的核心和你的未来。 当我们反思这一点时，让我们记住，我们的信仰不仅仅是我们生活的一部分，而是我们建立其他一切的基础。
The Scriptures teach us, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). This passage, while often applied to marriage, holds wisdom for dating relationships as well. It reminds us that our deepest values and beliefs shape every aspect of our lives(Cloud & Townsend, 2009).
和一个分享你信仰的人约会是至关重要的，因为它允许精神亲密，这是两个人之间最深层次的联系形式。 當你和你的伴侶對神、救恩和生命目的有同樣的基本信念時，你可以在靈性旅程中互相支持和鼓勵。 你可以一起祈祷，一起学习圣经，一起为上帝服务，创造一种超越情感或身体吸引力的纽带(Cloud & Townsend，2009)。
Sharing your faith with your dating partner provides a common foundation for decision-making and problem-solving. When faced with life’s challenges, you can turn to the same source of wisdom and guidance. This shared perspective can help you navigate conflicts and make important life choices in a way that honors God(Cloud & Townsend, 2009).
It’s also important to consider the long-term implications of dating someone who doesn’t share your faith. If you’re seeking a lifelong partner, remember that your faith will influence major life decisions, such as how to raise children, how to manage finances, and how to spend your time and resources. Sharing your faith with your partner makes it more likely that you’ll be aligned on these crucial issues(Cloud & Townsend, 2009).
But this doesn’t mean that you should completely isolate yourself from those who don’t share your faith. As Christians, we are called to be salt and light in the world (Matthew 5:13-16). We should have meaningful friendships and interactions with people of different beliefs. But when it comes to romantic relationships, which involve a deeper level of intimacy and commitment, it is wise to seek someone who shares your core values and beliefs(Cloud & Townsend, 2009).
If you find yourself already in a relationship with someone who doesn’t share your faith, approach the situation with prayer and wisdom. While it’s not impossible for such relationships to work, they often face major challenges. If you choose to continue the relationship, be clear about your faith and its importance in your life. Pray for your partner and be a living example of Christ’s love, but also be prepared to set boundaries to protect your own spiritual well-being(Cloud & Townsend, 2009).
Remember, that being equally yoked in faith is not about finding someone perfect, but about finding someone who is committed to growing in Christ alongside you. Look for a partner who challenges you to deepen your faith, who supports your spiritual growth, and with whom you can build a life centered on God’s love and purpose.
基督徒约会中适当的物理界限是什么？
我们必须认识到，我们的身体是圣灵的殿（哥林多前书6:19-20）。 这个强大的真理要求我们以崇敬和尊重的态度对待我们自己和他人的身体。 在约会中，这意味着要注意我们如何表达身体上的感情，总是寻求提升和荣誉，而不是满足自私的欲望（冬天，2016年）。
While the Bible does not provide a detailed “rulebook” for physical boundaries in dating, it does offer principles to guide us. The overarching call is to purity and self-control. As we read in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.”(Winters, 2016)
有鉴于此，我建议基督徒夫妇虔诚地考虑以下准则：
Refrain from sexual intercourse and other explicitly sexual activities before marriage. This honors God’s design for sex within the covenant of marriage(Winters, 2016).
对热情的接吻和长时间的拥抱要小心，这可能会过早唤醒性欲（所罗门歌2:7）（冬天，2016年）。
Avoid being alone in private settings that could lead to temptation. As Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, “Above all else, guard your heart.”(Winters, 2016)
以对双方都感到舒适的方式表达感情，并且不会导致两者跌倒。 这可能包括牵手，短暂的拥抱，或脸颊上的吻（冬天，2016年）。
在关系的早期讨论和商定物理边界，根据需要重新审视它们。 开放式沟通有助于防止误解并促进相互尊重（冬季，2016年）。
Remember, that these boundaries are not meant to diminish love, but to protect and nurture it. They create a safe space for emotional and spiritual intimacy to grow, allowing you to truly know one another’s hearts and minds(Winters, 2016).
It is also important to recognize that what may be appropriate for one couple may not be for another. Some may need stricter boundaries due to past struggles or personal convictions. We must be sensitive to the guidance of the Holy Spirit and respect each other’s limits without judgment(Winters, 2016).
Be mindful that physical touch, even when not explicitly sexual, can be a powerful force. As the Scriptures teach, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman” (1 Corinthians 7:1). This doesn’t mean all touch is forbidden, but it reminds us to be cautious and respectful in our physical interactions(Winters, 2016).
If you stumble, remember that God’s grace is abundant. Seek forgiveness, learn from the experience, and recommit to honoring God in your relationship. Let us encourage one another to “flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18) and instead pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace (2 Timothy 2:22)(Winters, 2016).
By setting and respecting physical boundaries, you create an environment where true love – patient, kind, and selfless – can flourish. You also demonstrate your commitment to honoring God and each other in your relationship. May your dating relationships be a testament to God’s love and a source of joy and growth as you journey together in faith.
约会时如何应对性诱惑？
First, we must acknowledge that sexual desire is a natural part of our human experience, created by God Himself. As the Song of Solomon beautifully illustrates, romantic and physical attraction are gifts from God. But like all gifts, they must be stewarded with wisdom and reverence for God’s design(Thomas, 2013).
The challenge lies in managing these desires within the context of Christian dating. The apostle Paul offers us guidance: “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4). This call to self-control is at the heart of navigating sexual temptation(Winters, 2016).
为了帮助这次旅程，请考虑以下实际步骤：
Pray for strength and wisdom. Jesus taught us to pray, “Lead us not into temptation” (Matthew 6:13). Make this a regular part of your prayer life, both individually and as a couple(Stanley et al., 2013).
在关系的早期设定明确的界限。 讨论并商定尊重上帝并保护你们俩的身体界限。 具体和现实，理解这些界限可能需要随着关系的进展进行调整（冬季，2016年）。
避免可能导致诱惑的情形。 注意在私人环境中独处，特别是在深夜或情绪激动的时刻（冬季，2016年）。
Keep your relationship balanced. Focus on building emotional and spiritual intimacy alongside physical attraction. Engage in activities that nurture your faith and allow you to see each other’s character in various contexts(Cloud & Townsend, 2009).
要对别人负责。 在你的关系中牵涉到值得信赖的朋友、家人或导师。 他们的支持和观点对于保持您对纯洁的承诺是无价的（冬季，2016年）。
If you stumble, seek forgiveness and recommit. Remember, God’s grace is abundant. Learn from your mistakes and use them as opportunities for growth and renewed commitment(Winters, 2016).
性诱惑往往随着一段关系的加深而加剧。 这是自然的，甚至是健康的吸引力的标志。 但这也意味着对界限的警惕和承诺变得越来越重要(Thomas，2013)。
Remember the wisdom of Scripture: “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18). When temptation arises, sometimes the wisest action is to physically remove yourself from the situation, following the example of Joseph when tempted by Potiphar’s wife(Winters, 2016).
航海 航海 性诱惑不仅仅是为了避免犯罪; it’s about cultivating a deeper, more meaningful relationship. By choosing to honor God and each other in this area, you create space for genuine intimacy to grow – intimacy that encompasses the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of your relationship.
Lastly, remember that this journey is not meant to be walked alone. Lean on your faith community for support and encouragement. Share your struggles with trusted friends who can pray with you and hold you accountable. And above all, continually seek God’s presence and guidance in your relationship.
祈祷在我的约会关系中应该扮演什么角色？
Prayer is essential in all aspects of our lives, including our dating relationships. It is through prayer that we open our hearts to God’s wisdom and guidance. In the context of dating, prayer serves multiple vital purposes.
First, prayer helps align our desires with God’s will. As you embark on a dating relationship, bring your hopes, fears, and decisions before the Lord. Ask Him to purify your intentions and to give you discernment. Remember the words of Psalm 37:4: “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” When we seek God first, He shapes our desires according to His perfect plan.
Secondly, prayer fosters spiritual intimacy between partners. Praying together can be a powerful way to deepen your connection and grow in faith as a couple. As you share your hearts with God in each other’s presence, you create a sacred space of vulnerability and trust. This practice lays a strong foundation for a God-centered relationship.
Research has shown that couples who pray together experience greater relationship satisfaction and commitment. A study by Fincham, Beach, Lambert, Stillman, and Braithwaite found that praying for one’s partner was associated with increased relationship satisfaction over time. Prayer had effects above and beyond other positive behaviors in relationships.
Prayer provides strength and guidance during challenging times. Every relationship faces difficulties, and turning to God together in those moments can bring comfort, clarity, and renewed hope. As St. Paul reminds us in Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
最后，祷告有助于我们保持正确的视角。 它提醒我们，我们最终的成就来自上帝，而不是我们的伴侣。 这可以防止不健康的依赖，并保持基督在关系的中心。
Remember that prayer is not a magical formula to guarantee a perfect relationship. Rather, it is a means of inviting God into every aspect of your dating life, trusting in His loving guidance. Make prayer a consistent practice, both individually and as a couple. Seek God’s will earnestly, and allow His peace to guide your hearts as you navigate the joys and challenges of dating.
有什麼跡象表明約會關係是健康和榮耀的？
A God-honoring relationship is rooted in shared faith and values. Both partners should have a personal relationship with Christ and a commitment to growing in their faith. As 2 Corinthians 6:14 reminds us, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.” This doesn’t mean you must agree on every theological point, but your core beliefs and spiritual goals should align. You should feel comfortable discussing matters of faith and encouraging each other’s spiritual growth.
Secondly, look for mutual respect and support. A healthy relationship is characterized by kindness, patience, and a genuine desire to see the other person flourish. You should feel valued for who you are, not just for what you can offer. Your partner should encourage your dreams and aspirations, even those that don’t directly involve them. This reflects the selfless love described in 1 Corinthians 13.
Another important sign is open and honest communication. You should feel safe expressing your thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment or rejection. Healthy couples address conflicts with grace and a willingness to understand each other’s perspectives. They seek resolution rather than victory in disagreements.
Purity and self-control are also crucial indicators of a God-honoring relationship. While physical attraction is natural and good, a couple committed to honoring God will set and respect appropriate boundaries. They will encourage each other’s walk with Christ rather than being a source of temptation. As 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 instructs, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable.”
A healthy relationship also maintains balance with other important aspects of life. It doesn’t isolate you from family, friends, or church community. Instead, it integrates well with these relationships and allows you to continue growing as an individual.
在你的关系中寻找精神果实的迹象。 你的伴侣能带出你身上最好的东西吗？ 你是否发现自己在爱、喜乐、和平、耐心、善良、善良、忠诚、温柔和和自制中成长（加拉太书5:22-23）是你们关系的结果吗？ 榮耀神的夥伴關係應該幫助兩個人變得更像基督。
Finally, a healthy relationship is characterized by a shared vision for the future. While you don’t need to have everything figured out, you should be able to discuss your hopes, dreams, and goals openly. Your visions for family, ministry, and life purpose should be compatible and mutually supportive.
记住，没有任何关系是完美的。 即使在最健康的伙伴关系中，也会面临增长的挑战和领域。 关键是相互承诺把上帝放在第一位，共同努力建立一种反映他的爱和恩典的关系。 如果你在你的关系中发现这些迹象，要感激并继续培养它们。 如果有些人缺乏，祈祷地考虑如何在这些地区一起成长。
我怎么知道有人是上帝对我有的『唯一』？
The question of finding “the one” God has for you is one that many young Christians grapple with. While the desire to find God’s perfect match is understandable, I encourage you to approach this matter with both faith and wisdom.
First, we must recognize that the concept of “the one” as a predestined soulmate is not explicitly taught in Scripture. God gives us the freedom to choose our spouse, guided by His principles and wisdom. Instead of searching for a mystical sign, focus on seeking God’s will and growing in your own faith and character.
话虽如此，在辨别某人是否可以成为合适的生活伴侣时，有几个重要因素需要考虑：
Shared faith: The most crucial aspect is that your potential spouse shares your commitment to Christ. As 2 Corinthians 6:14 advises, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.” A shared faith provides a strong foundation for a lasting, God-centered marriage.
性格和值： 寻找一个证明圣灵果实的人（加拉太书5:22-23），他的价值观与你的价值观一致。 注意他们如何对待他人，处理冲突和做出决定。
兼容性： 虽然没有两个人是完全兼容的，但你应该有足够的共同点来建立一个共同的生活。 这包括共同的目标，沟通风格和对未来的愿景。
Mutual respect and support: A godly partnership is characterized by mutual encouragement and a desire to see each other grow in faith and pursue God’s calling.
Peace and clarity: While feelings can be misleading, there should be an overall sense of peace about the relationship. As Colossians 3:15 says, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.”
值得信赖的顾问的确认： 从成熟的基督徒那里寻求忠告，他们非常了解你。 他们的客观见解在辨别你们关系的健康方面是无价的。
承诺的意愿： 双方都应该准备好并愿意做出终身的承诺，明白婚姻需要持续的工作和牺牲。
Remember, my children, that God’s will is not a mystery to be solved, but a relationship to be lived. Instead of anxiously searching for “the one,” focus on becoming the person God is calling you to be. As you grow in Christ and seek His kingdom first (Matthew 6:33), He will guide your path.
Pray for wisdom and discernment, but don’t expect a supernatural sign or voice from heaven. God typically works through the ordinary means of Scripture, prayer, wise counsel, and the peace He gives us as we walk in obedience.
如果你找到一个符合这些标准的人，你们都觉得追求婚姻，你可以自信地向前迈进。 相信，當你尋求在你們的關係中榮耀上帝時，祂會祝福你們的結合，並將它用於祂的榮耀。
Remember also that there is no perfect person or perfect marriage. Every relationship requires work, grace, and a commitment to grow together. The goal is not to find a flawless partner, but to find someone with whom you can build a Christ-centered marriage that reflects God’s love to the world.
假如我和我的伴侣正处于我们信仰之旅的不同阶段呢？
First, we must recognize that spiritual growth is a lifelong process. As St. Paul reminds us in Philippians 1:6, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Each person’s journey with Christ is unique, and we must be patient with ourselves and others as we grow in faith.
但是，精神成熟度或承诺的重大差异可能会在一段关系中造成紧张。 如果你发现自己处于这种情况，以下是一些重要的考虑因素：
评估差异的性质： 这是知识、经验或承诺的问题吗？ 有时，一个伴侣可能只是有更多的机会学习和成长在他们的信仰。 在其他情况下，对基督的承诺可能存在根本的差异。 理解差距的根源是至关重要的。
Communicate openly and honestly: Discuss your spiritual lives, goals, and concerns with each other. Create a safe space where both partners can express their thoughts and feelings without judgment. Remember the wisdom of Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Focus on your own growth: While it’s natural to want your partner to grow, remember that you can only control your own spiritual journey. Continue to deepen your own relationship with Christ, setting an example of faith in action.
Encourage without pressuring: Support your partner’s spiritual growth, but avoid becoming preachy or judgmental. Pray for them, invite them to participate in spiritual activities with you, and be ready to answer questions they may have.
寻求共同点： 找到方法在精神上连接，这对你们双方都是有意义的。 这可能包括一起阅读圣经，像一对夫妇一样祈祷，或者在符合你兴趣的部里服务。
Be patient: Spiritual growth takes time. Trust in God’s timing and work in your partner’s life. As 2 Peter 3:9 reminds us, “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”
寻求明智的忠告： 如果属灵成熟度的差异在你们的关系中造成重大压力，请考虑寻求牧师，基督徒辅导员或成熟的基督徒夫妇的指导。
Evaluate compatibility: If the disparity is severe – for example, if one partner is not a believer or is resistant to spiritual growth – you may need to prayerfully consider whether this relationship is wise to pursue. As 2 Corinthians 6:14 cautions, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.”
Remember, my children, that a strong, God-honoring relationship requires both partners to be actively pursuing Christ. While you don’t need to be at exactly the same place spiritually, there should be a shared commitment to growing together in faith.
If you are the partner further along in your faith journey, approach the situation with humility and grace. Remember your own need for growth and avoid a judgmental attitude. As St. Francis of Assisi wisely said, “Preach the Gospel at all times. When necessary, use words.” Your loving example can be a powerful witness.
If you are the partner who feels less spiritually mature, be open to growth and learning. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and express your doubts. Seek God earnestly and allow your partner to support and encourage you in your faith journey.
我如何在精神上为约会和婚姻做好准备？
Deepen your relationship with God. As Jesus teaches us in Matthew 6:33, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Make your spiritual growth a priority. Develop a consistent prayer life, study Scripture diligently, and actively participate in your faith community. Remember, the strongest marriages are those where both partners are primarily focused on their relationship with God.
Cultivate self-awareness and work on personal growth. Reflect on your strengths, weaknesses, and areas where you need to mature. Are there patterns of sin or unhealthy behaviors that you need to address? Seek God’s healing and transformation in these areas. As Proverbs 4:23 advises, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Learn to practice forgiveness and grace. In any relationship, there will be times when you are hurt or disappointed. Cultivate a forgiving spirit, remembering how much God has forgiven you. As Colossians 3:13 instructs, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
培养情感成熟和沟通技巧。 学会以健康的方式表达你的感受，并同情地倾听他人。 用恩典和理解来解决冲突。 这些技能在约会关系和婚姻中将是无价的。
Guard your purity. In a culture that often devalues sexual purity, commit to honoring God with your body and mind. As 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 reminds us, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable.” Set clear boundaries in your dating relationships and seek accountability from trusted friends or mentors.
Cultivate a servant’s heart. Marriage, at its core, is about selfless love and service. Look for opportunities to serve others in your church and community. This will help prepare you for the self-sacrifice required in a godly marriage.
Seek wisdom and counsel. Proverbs 15:22 tells us, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Develop relationships with mature Christians who can offer guidance and perspective. Learn from the experiences of godly married couples.
金融管理工作。 许多婚姻冲突都围绕着财政问题展开。 学会预算，储蓄，慷慨地给予。 发展圣经对金钱和财产的看法。
Cultivate contentment in your current season. Whether you’re single or dating, learn to find joy and purpose in your present circumstances. Trust in God’s timing and plan for your life. As Paul writes in Philippians 4:11-13, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances… I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
為你未來的配偶禱告，甚至在你遇到他們之前。 祈求神在他們生命中作工，正如祂在準備你一樣，為他們作好準備。 在你的约会决定中祈祷智慧和洞察力。
Remember, my children, that preparing for dating and marriage is not about achieving perfection. We are all works in progress, growing in grace day by day. The goal is to cultivate a heart that is open to God’s leading, ready to love sacrificially, and committed to honoring Christ in all aspects of life.
As you prepare yourself spiritually, trust in God’s faithfulness. He loves you and desires your good. Whether marriage is in His plan for you or not, know that as you seek Him first, He will guide your path and fulfill His purpose for your life.
基督徒的求爱在现代是什么样子？
基督徒求爱是一个男人和一个女人之间有目的的关系，他们祈祷地考虑结婚。 它不同于随意约会，专注于精神成长和兼容性。 在现代，这对夫妇看起来可能不同，但有一些关键因素应该存在。
Christian courtship should be centered on Christ. This means that both individuals should be committed to growing in their faith, both individually and as a couple. Prayer, Bible study, and involvement in a church community should be integral parts of the relationship. As the Apostle Paul reminds us, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). This doesn’t mean that both partners must be at the same level of spiritual maturity, but rather that they share a common faith and vision for their life together.
Secondly, Christian courtship should be characterized by purity and self-control. In a world that often promotes instant gratification and casual physical intimacy, Christian couples are called to a higher standard. This means setting appropriate physical boundaries and guarding each other’s hearts and bodies. As we read in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable.”
In practical terms, this might involve agreeing on physical boundaries early in the relationship, being accountable to trusted friends or mentors, and avoiding situations that could lead to temptation. It’s important to remember that these boundaries are not meant to restrict love, but to protect and nurture it.
Thirdly, modern Christian courtship should involve open and honest communication. This includes discussing your values, goals, and expectations for marriage. It means being transparent about your past, your struggles, and your dreams for the future. As Proverbs 24:26 tells us, “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” This level of honesty builds trust and helps couples discern whether they are truly compatible for marriage.
在我們的數位時代，溝通可能不僅涉及面對面的對話，還涉及深思熟慮地使用技術。 虽然社交媒体和消息应用程序可以是保持联系的有用工具，但它们不应该取代有意义的面对面的互动。
Lastly, Christian courtship in modern times should involve the support and guidance of the Christian community. This might include seeking counsel from pastors, mentors, or married couples you respect. It could also involve premarital counseling or participating in marriage preparation courses offered by your church. As Proverbs 15:22 wisely states, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.”
Remember, that while the outward forms of courtship may change with the times, the underlying principles of love, respect, purity, and commitment to God remain constant. May your journey of courtship be a testament to God’s love and a preparation for a Christ-centered marriage.
如何平衡追求婚姻和相信上帝的时机？
First, we must recognize that our ultimate fulfillment comes from our relationship with God. As Saint Augustine famously said, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” While marriage can be a wonderful gift, it should not become an idol that we place above our relationship with God. Jesus reminds us in Matthew 6:33, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
This doesn’t mean we should be passive in our pursuit of marriage. God often works through our actions and decisions. We can actively prepare ourselves for marriage by growing in our faith, developing our character, and becoming the kind of person who would be a good spouse. This might involve seeking opportunities to serve in our church or community, working on personal growth, and learning skills that will be valuable in marriage.
At the same time, we must cultivate patience and trust in God’s timing. The Psalmist encourages us, “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord” (Psalm 27:14). This waiting is not idle; it is an active trust that God is working even when we cannot see it. Use this time of singleness to deepen your relationship with God, to serve others, and to discover the unique gifts and calling God has given you.
In practical terms, balancing pursuit and trust might look like this: Be open to meeting potential partners through your church, social circles, or even Christian dating platforms. But approach these opportunities with a spirit of discernment, always seeking God’s guidance. Pray for your future spouse and for God’s will to be done in your life. As you meet people, focus on building friendships and getting to know them as brothers and sisters in Christ, rather than immediately evaluating them as potential spouses.
It’s also important to be honest with God about your desires and frustrations. Pour out your heart to Him in prayer, just as the Psalmists did. God is not intimidated by our emotions or questions. Bringing these to Him can deepen our intimacy with Him and help us align our hearts with His will.
Remember, too, that God’s timing and plan may look different from what we expect. Some are called to marriage early in life, others later, and some may be called to singleness. Each of these paths has its own blessings and challenges. Trust that God knows what is best for you and is working all things for your good (Romans 8:28).
尋求明智的，虔誠的導師的建議，誰可以提供觀點和指導。 他们可能会在你的生活中看到你无法做到的事情，当你在这段旅程中，他们的经验可能是无价的。
最后，专注于成为合适的人，而不是找到合适的人。 努力在你的生命中发展圣灵的果实--爱、喜乐、平安、耐心、善良、善良、忠诚、温柔和自制（加拉太书5:22-23）。 这些品质不仅会让你成为一个更好的未来配偶，而且还会丰富你现在的生活和关系。
记住，上帝深深地爱你，想要对你最好的东西。 無論是在等待或積極追求的季節，都要盯著耶穌。 相信他完美的爱和时机，知道他是忠实地履行他在你生命中的承诺。 愿你走向婚姻的旅程，无论其结果如何，都会让你更接近上帝的心，并为他为你计划的生活做好准备。
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